Symbolic Recipe

This was an assignment from the tenth grade, but I am still fond of it.

How to Make Sam Soup*

Ingredients:

• 2 teaspoons: Anxiety
• 1/2 cup: (What my mother calls) Teen Angst
• 1 1/4 cups: Clumsiness
• 3 tablespoons: Babbling
• 2 cups: Sarcasm (can also substitute backtalk)
• 1/4 cup: Wit (can also substitute intelligence)
• 1/2 teaspoon: Manners
• 1/4 teaspoon: Morals
• 1.5 ounces: Quick-temper
• 4 teaspoons: Competitiveness

Instructions:

1. Combine all ingredients.
2. Let cook for nine months, give or take a few weeks.
3. Garnish with black eyeliner.
4. Optional: Let sit before serving, the teen angst must boil out before it is fit to be part of society.

*WARNING: Will probably be sentient.